Kings & Contractors

I was up before 6 a.m. to take Scout for a good, long walk, because that was all she was going to get once the coverage started at 7:30. Settled into the Command Central corner of the couch, with tea, breakfast, remote control – all systems go. Then the plumbers arrived at 8:00 a.m. to install the new boiler in the loft. Oops, I’d forgotten about that.

I had made note of the main time frames for the day: the procession, the arrival, the investiture, the fly-over, etc.. And the head plumber told me his workers would be finishing around 2 p.m. Perfect – that was during a lull in the schedule – excellent. I settled back into my seat and for the most part I was able to ignore them and focus on the matter at hand – railing against the English for stealing our Stone of Destiny (don’t get me started), critiquing the women’s outfits, questioning why some of those people had even been invited, watching for Prince Harry, and mocking such items as the Golden Spurs, the Bracelets of Sincerity & Wisdom, and the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch – oh wait, that last item may not have been used at the Abbey. There was a lot of hammering coming from above, sort of a background staccato to the marching of the soldiers along the Mall.

And then, right before noon, just as we were getting to the big moment of the day, the actual investiture, I could sense that the workmen were wrapping up. Splendid, of course they were. And, much as I had anticipated, they wanted me to go up to the loft with them to see how everything worked. Really? Right now? A once every seventy years event is happening, and you want to show me a stop cock, and a relief valve, and whatever else is up there? They definitely did not have too much sympathy for me. For many Scots today was a non-event or worse. These guys were working on Coronation Saturday, their boss was off golfing, and at recent football matches and on the streets of Glasgow chants of “You can shove your coronation up your arse.” could be heard. So, no push back from me; I meekly followed them upstairs and listened to their instructions.

Anyhoo, all was resolved, and I was able to watch the bits I missed on BBC iPlayer later on. I made my quiche, drank some wine, and generally speaking, I’ve had a lovely day. I hope the King has too.