Idiot Tax

In an earlier post shortly after arriving in Scotland I talked about the ‘Idiot Tax’. A comedian had shared that anytime someone spent money foolishly, (e.g. came home with pickling salt when they meant to buy pickling spice, or paid £35 on a locally-made toque because they thought they hadn’t packed any hats from home) – anytime something like that happened, this comic’s FIL said that it was within this year’s Idiot Tax and it was okay to forgive yourself for it (the Idiot Tax cap, in this guy’s opinion, seemed to be around £1,000). *I don’t think the idea was that it was okay to fritter away £1,000 p.a., but rather that: shite happens, learn from your mistake, and move on. It helped the day I spent £8 on smoked scallops only to find I don’t like smoked scallops and I had to bin them because Scout didn’t like them either. Idiot Tax, move on.

Well, it’s started again: last week I bought tea at Tesco, only to remember Viv had shown me where the massive, unopened, Costco-sized package of tea was in the cupboard. Then I went to B&M (sort of HomeSense meets Walmart, but oh so tidy) and bought a large packet of Command Hook hangers only to find I already had tons of them from my last two moves (those things are bloody expensive and I can’t return them as I’d opened the package). Idiot Tax, move on.

But this is the one that has me in a lather: I sat down this morning to change my address on a bunch of forms and accounts. First one: Drivers Licence. Government websites here are so easy to follow – I brought up the form and started typing away. Entered my Current DL#, UK Passport #, Mother’s maiden name (I didn’t remember that from last time, but easy to forget, okay), and £49 fee. Didn’t remember that from last time either, but fair enough, so I paid it. It was about ten seconds after I hit Submit that I realized: this wasn’t a government site; this was an online service for immigrants – I had just clicked on the top site that had appeared when I googled DL change of address; the gov’t site was a few lines below. This service will address your paperwork for you for a fee, I guess for people new to the UK and unsure of how to navigate all the protocols. Dammit. I’ve just given an online company a ton of personal data, plus £. Dammit. I’m having a hard time shaking this one off – the company seems legit and actually has a decent user-rating, but. . . Dammit.

EDIT 29 hours later: I have just received an email from the online company, thanking me for my application and advising me that I only have one thing left to do – go to the Driver and Vehicle Licensing Agency (DVLA)’s website and complete the change of address form and follow the instructions there. Link provided. I have just paid £49 to have them tell me to fill out the government form I had intended to complete when I started all this. Idiot Tax, move on.

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