I’m a Pirate

In the UK, in order to have access to TV channels, you are required by law to hold an annual TV license (sort of like our cable bills, but this is government-run and funds the BBC). When I moved here I decided not to spend the money as I am not a big TV-watcher. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of those “oh, I think there’s nothing worth watching on TV” types; I just already spend way too much time on YouTube, Netflix, Amazon Prime, BritBox, etc. And I get my news by subscribing to online newspapers. I was a little disappointed when I arrived to discover that no TV license also means no access to BBC’s iPlayer (plays BBC shows after airing, sort of like CBC Gem), but, as I said, I really do watch too much online already.

I received a letter addressed to Occupant yesterday and I nearly didn’t open it, thinking it was junk mail. But I did open it his morning – turns out it was a threatening notice from something called tvlicensing.co.uk. In large, bold, red font it warned me that “you could be at risk of breaking the law.” Sounds exactly like every one of those scam phone calls from the “CRA” – I nearly tore it up. It warned me that if I hadn’t replied by a certain date in February, my address would “be passed to the Dundee Enforcement Agency”. I went online – turns out it’s legit – the government monitors each house address to see if they have a license, and if not, immediately become suspicious and get in touch.

But, I figured all I had to do was pick the option stating I didn’t need a license, as I don’t own a television. Then I started reading the fine print and it seems that even streaming a show on my computer requires a license. By that I assumed they meant live-streaming of news channels or something, so still not my problem. But no, it turns out that even the two or three times I’ve streamed a YouTube Q&A on travel or a live YouTube logic puzzle video without a license, I’ve been breaking the law.

So, I’ve got a couple of options: pay the £159 annual fee, or tell them I don’t watch live TV/streaming, and make sure to never click on one of those videos again. They did warn that if I chose the latter, they could still send someone to my home to verify my claims. You should see what it says on Wikipedia about their various forms of monitoring and enforcement: “Enquiry Officers”, “TV Detector Vans”, and “Search Warrants” are only a few of the ways they check up on us. To paraphrase Dr Johnny Fever, “These TV cops play hardball.”

I’m getting the license.